Fair and Kind: Staying Grounded Through the Holiday Season By Sarah Bragdon, NP and Applied Behavioral Scientist

The holiday season has a way of magnifying everything—our joy, our social calendars, and inevitably - our stress. It’s tempting to think this time of year should come with a complete lifestyle overhaul or that we need to “make up” for indulgences before they even happen. But here’s a better idea: bring it back to basics. Instead of chasing perfection, what if we focused on sturdy, flexible habits that actually hold up during the highs and lows of the season? Whether you're juggling parties, pressure, or just trying to stay upright until January, foundational habits can help you stay grounded, resilient, and true to yourself.

Niche partnered with Sarah Bragdon, NP & Applied Behavioral Scientist, and founder of CompriHealth, to discuss one of their guiding philosophies of being both fair and kind to yourself during the holidays. You can read more of her work on her blog titled “Better by Design”.

KR: I’m assuming the holidays aren’t a great time to completely overhaul your diet/lifestyle… What are the best foundational eating habits to focus on during the holidays?

SB: Most of us know that certain foods are better choices for us, and certainly there are portion sizes that are better than others. From holiday meals to vacation to an ordinary Tuesday, we need a decision framework that works as hard as we do.

FAIR AND KIND.

Fair means we tell the truth about what helps and what doesn’t. No pretending. But equally, no catastrophizing. Don’t make your lapse bigger than it really is.

Kind means we don’t use food or health as a weapon against ourselves. We make choices that set us up to perform today and into the future.

When you pair fair & kind, you build your own unique path towards change that’s flexible and sustainable. Not harsh, not self-delusional, but sturdy and steady.

And when we lapse? Lapses happen (fair). We treat ourselves as well as we would treat someone we love who missed their goal (kind).

Example:

You find yourself eating a donut for breakfast.

FAIR: Notice what actually happened.

Don’t exaggerate (“I ruined everything”) or minimize (“It doesn’t matter”).

Look at outcomes in a 1–4 hour window: Did this fuel me well enough to cope?

KIND:  Supportive and Sustainable

Treat yourself like someone you want to keep going.

No punishments, no shame spirals.

Fair and Kind allows us to choose a next step that helps, not harms. Fair and Kind might also help you and the holidays shine a little brighter.

KR: Are there any supplements or herbs you recommend to support energy and immunity during this season?

SB: Supplements are a bit like lottery tickets. The odds of choosing the exact supplement for the exact illness are slim. But, like the lottery, plenty of people play and plenty of people swear by their favorites. I tell my patients: trust your own experience and pay attention to people whose health and makeup seem similar to yours.

At the end of the day, even with the “right” cocktail, you’ll still get sick. And sickness isn’t a failure. It’s just bad luck.

KR: What strategies do you recommend for managing stress and anxiety during the holidays?

SB: Please remember, stress and anxiety are a normal part of life. If you weren’t a little apprehensive, you might be annoyingly evolved.

Step back and ask: What do I want this season to feel like?

• Must-do’s: What keeps the peace or preserves essential traditions?

• Favorites: What do your loved ones actually look forward to? Ask them—it’s usually less than you think.

• The rest: Fluff. Nice if it happens, fine if it doesn’t.

Check yourself: if you shared your list with a friend, would they agree your “essentials” are really essential? Oh, and if this list also applies to vacation or retirement planning, please let me know. 

KR: What proactive steps can I take now to feel more in control of my health (mental & physical) over the next few months?

SB: Control is slippery because it means different things to different people. Break it down:

• Define control. Is it resilience—staying steady when life gets messy? Or is it the fantasy that the world will deliver what you ordered? Only one of those is possible.

• Accept trade-offs. You can have almost anything, but rarely at the same time. Well-launched adult kids don’t happen in the same window as enduring toddler chaos. Elite athletic performance requires sacrifices, personally and professionally, you may or may not want to make. We’re less likely to store resentment and disappointment if we’re honest with ourselves about where we’re investing our time and effort.

• Invest where it pays off. Physical health fuels stamina in every arena. Executive function and balanced mental health make heavy loads doable. There are seasons where we invest more in one area than another. Both choices are solid.

• Subtract before you add. High performers often overextend themselves by saying yes too often. Resilience grows from effective boundaries, and stepping back from what isn’t yours to carry.

• If you asked another clinician, you might hear more about feelings. I come from a behavioral science lens: what we do matters more than what we feel. Feelings are signals, not commands. Chasing them off a cliff rarely ends well.

When control becomes your highest value, you end up twisted into shapes you don’t even recognize. You find yourself attempting to manage every variable instead of choosing the ones that matter. My approach is behavior first.  I believe it allows you to stay steady and recognizable to yourself, even when life is off the rails.

Real control comes from authorship and investment. From planting enough good seeds to trust you’ll get good fruit. A grumpy farmer who plants will still harvest. The farmer who waits to feel like it never does.

KR: How can I mentally prepare for the challenges of the season without dreading them?

SB: Dread is tricky. It doesn’t have one cause or one cure. I sometimes picture my own dread as a kind of ghost. Dread as an echo of past disappointments and hurts.

For me, dread-ghosts can show up in one of two ways: as a quiet witness who reminds me how far I’ve come, or as beasts that chew through every bit of positivity. The difference is in how I choose to see them. And yes, sometimes they shape-shift from friendly to ravenous in an instant. (Where’s Harry Potter with an expecto patronum when you need him?)

So instead of fighting dread-ghosts, I try to hold two truths: things may not be ideal, but I can still give them my best. That shift doesn’t erase the hard parts, but it keeps dread from steering the holiday season.

KR: Are there specific signs I should watch for that indicate I need to slow down or check in with myself?

SB: Most of us know more than we say. To manage complexity, working adults often compensate by adding more—more effort, more time, more responsibility. While confirmation bias gets the headlines, there’s another force at work: additive bias. We’re far more likely to solve problems by adding than by subtracting.

Even the strongest constitution can be stretched too far with one addition too many. Sometimes we snap, but more often we scramble—dropping balls, staggering under the weight we carry, unable to keep up.

Early warning signs you’re overstretched:

• Anger or resentment that lingers

• Headaches or migraines

• Gut distress or digestion changes

• Old injuries flaring back up

• A vague sense of restlessness or unease
  
  

These aren’t signs of weakness, they’re reasons to recalibrate. My goal for patients is to stay fit and flexible. Able to add and subtract roles gracefully. Much of adult joy comes from meaningful work. But when the load gets too heavy (Too much purpose, not enough play or pleasure), subtraction is the way forward. So trust your intuition, and reach out if you’re overstretched.

This season won’t go perfectly—and that’s not the point. The point is to move through it with intention, self-respect, and a bit of flexibility. Fair and kind choices create a path that holds up whether you're navigating a week of back-to-back events or recovering from a setback. So whether you’re passing up dessert or savoring it slowly, choosing a night in over one more obligation, or just trying to stay steady when life gets messy—remember: sustainable change doesn’t come from shame or extremes. It comes from stacking honest, kind decisions, one on top of the other. That’s how you move forward—and stay recognizable to yourself, even in the busiest season of the year.